Are you ready…For the noise? “What’s that,” you ask? “Turn up your hearing aid grandpa — THE NOISE!” I say. Because we’re glad to announce the first annual Donnie Bell Design 2010 Air Hockey Tournament.

For any stranger to DBD, we have an air hockey table in our studio. Over time, it has been the setting for post-work stress relief sessions. Well, sometimes those sessions turn into grudge matches. Then the winner gets bragging rights. And that bragging leads to more grudge matches. Vicious circle.

Thusly, we’ve decided to end all official bragging rights with this tournament, featuring four employees: Courtney, Daniel, Matt and Sean. The winner will be able to proudly display the Horseshoe Cup on their desk for everyone to see for the whole year.

The rules are simple — use a single bumper in either hand, or switch hands, and try to knock the puck into the opposing goal. No bare hands. No out of bounds (whoever the puck lands next to is who gets first crack). Knocking the puck into your own goal counts for your opponent.

Games are played for one 5-minute, fast and furious session with a triangular puck of death. What makes it a “puck of death”? The shape puts a ton of backspin on the puck, which makes it almost impossible to predict where it will go once the player touches it with his bumper. See, it is exciting.

The tournament is double elimination, with games being played once a week. The seeds are as follows: 1. Courtney, 2. Matt, 3. Daniel, 4. Sean. The seeds were decided by previous matches, with Courtney deemed the best player and Daniel the second-best. Since Matt was here before Sean, the new gets to be lowest man on the totem pole.

This means Courtney will face off against Sean in the first game and Daniel will play Matt in game number two. The winner of the match between Courtney and Sean will play the winner of the match between Daniel and Matt. That winner advances to the final, the loser moves to the second round of the loser’s bracket.

In the loser’s bracket, the loser of the game between Courtney and Sean will play the loser of the match between Daniel and Matt. Winner of that match will play the loser of the winner’s bracket, with a berth in the final on the line. Whoever emerges from the loser’s bracket will play the winner’s bracket champion in the final and must beat the winner’s bracket champ twice (a la the double elimination). If the loser’s bracket champ loses in the final, he will be eliminated.

Be sure to check back next week for player profiles to you get all hyped up for the opening game — a first round throw down between number-1 ranked Courtney and low-seed Sean.

The Super Bowl? Small potatoes. March Madness? Bleh. The World Series? Who cares?…A new era in sports is here.