With 2012 in full swing, here is a recap of a small portion of the athletic work that we have produced for Tech over the past year.

We all (should) know what to get our significant other on Valentine’s Day: a romantic gesture with a gift. Where we often mess up is that last item. The gift. Men have, shall we say, a special sense of what to get someone for Valentine’s Day. We think practical, or we try to get something that she may have mentioned in the past but if it’s not available then we substitute what’s close.

That doesn’t cut it.

To help our fellow brethren out, we’ve decided to list what NOT to get your sweetheart this year.

1. Any exercise equipment.

Why? She may have mentioned, “I’d like a yoga mat and some weights so I can work out at home.” But that’s a trick. She doesn’t want you to get those as a gift because to her, that says, “Happy most romantic day of the year fatty.”

What will happen if you do? “So you think I’m fat?!?” will be the response, which is the most loaded question in all of relationshipdom. You can’t win. Get ready to go to bed on the couch.

What to do instead: Offer to exercise with her next time, or take her to the gym with you. But don’t bring it up out of the blue. Wait until she brings it up and say this key sentence, “I’ll help you if it’s what you want, but you know I think you’re perfect right now.”

2. Cookware or utensils

Why? It’s the feminist’s worst nightmare: a man handing a woman something to fix him dinner with, disguised as a present. Sure, maybe she likes to cook, but don’t buy her a set of mixing bowls and a casserole dish. It reminds her of the classic stereotype that women should be left at home.

What will happen if you do? You will go without dinner…Until July 4.

What to do instead: Get those things, but then make her a dinner especially for her with them. And have a backup gift on hand to go with dinner.

3. Anything existential

Why? Don’t go for anything intangible. For example: Maybe she complains she doesn’t see enough of you, well don’t spend a night with her and claim that’s her gift — time with her. What a lame, condescending gift. Romance? That’s what this holiday is all about. Unless you go waaaaaay out of your way to a lot of trouble, then romance is a given.

What will happen if you do? You will probably get walked out on. Or even slapped. Physical violence + romantic holiday = bad time.

What to do instead: Get creative and make her a coupon book filled with “Get out of an argument free” “Good for one back rub” or “Dinner’s on me tonight” slips.

4.  The classics

Why? It’s cliche to get a girl roses and chocolates. Don’t assume she wants them. If she says so, then you better get her some, but otherwise, it seems lazy and uninspired.

What will happen if you do? They will have the utter look of disappointment. You know, that look of a dog in a pound as you walk by? That look. Is that what you want? Her to look like a dog that’s about to be put down? Didn’t think so.

What to do instead: Show up at her office or school and hand her a solitary rose, and tell her you’ll see her tonight. Then have a romantic dinner and a small gift waiting when she gets home.

5. Anything you would get yourself

Why? Somebody famous once said Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I think it was Benjamin Franklin. In the Almanac or something. Anyway, we’re far apart on how we view many things. She may like watching a horror movie with you from time to time, but don’t cling to that instance that you guys are “so similar.” She likes different things than you like. So if you get her a football helmet autographed by Peyton Manning, or a emergency tool set for her car, then you will probably end up with those things yourself…Because she threw them at you as she kicked you out the door.

What will happen if you do? Well, it would be a good thing to do if you’ve had your eye on a certain gift for yourself and you simultaneously decided you don’t want a girlfriend after all.

What to do instead: Honestly, if you’re this clueless with gifts, she’s well aware by now. So forgo shopping for her altogether and get a gift card to her favorite store. She’ll respect you for not wasting dough on something she hates.

We have a need for approval. Part of that requires that you know and like us. So to that end, here are some facts about the team members of Donnie Bell Design.

Donnie Bell
1.) First job and your best or worst memory?
Building stunt airplanes. Very anal boss who had a bad temper. Ironic really!
2.) Favorite sports team?
The New Orleans Saints.
3.) Favorite food?
Chicken Parm.
4.) What is your biggest fear and why?
Airplanes, because I like to be in control of my situation.
5.) If you didn’t have to work, what would you do?
Build things.
6.) If you were in charge of Disneyland for one day, what would you do?
Pocket the proceeds for that one day and put ownership in my name.
7.) What is the one thing you will never tell your parents?
No comment

Daniel Hudgens
1.) First job and your best or worst memory?
Banner-News newspaper in Magnolia, AR. My best memory is when I had to work late on a special section on my birthday. My wife (girlfriend at the time) brought me a large pizza. It was awesome! Kind of lame, but not many great memories at my first job. Mostly a lot of learning and working.
2.) Favorite sports team?
I like all sports in general, but if I had to pick, it would be Peyton Manning and the Colts.
3.) Favorite food?
Tie between homemade macaroni & cheese and strawberries.
4.) What is your biggest fear and why?
Swimming with sharks! I watched Jaws as a young child.
5.) If you didn’t have to work, what would you do?
Travel the world and visit all the interesting and beautiful places.
6.) If you were in charge of Disneyland for one day, what would you do?
I would make admission free, even though the public would probably destroy everything, but Mickey Mouse would save the day!
7.) What is the one thing you will never tell your parents?
That I am really Superman.

Courtney Pugh
1.) First job and your best or worst memory?
Hibanks One Stop in El Dorado, AR. I cooked, cleaned, ran register and bagged minnows and crickets (sometimes as early as 3 a.m.) for almost five years. My worst memory was setting a bunch of trees on fire while burning boxes in the burn bin next to the store. I set the boxes on fire and thought it would burn itself out, until a customer came into the store and told me some trees on fire. Best memory was when a man came into the store to order burgers while wearing a sun dress.
2.) Favorite sports team?
Arkansas Razorbacks
3.) Favorite food?
Seafood… maybe not anymore. Thanks BP.
4.) What is your biggest fear and why?
Public speaking, because I’m a pretty quiet person. I prefer to not be the center of attention. In both high school and college I dreaded speech class.
5.) If you didn’t have to work, what would you do?
Travel, definitely but also use my time to create things for which I have a passion (music, art, etc.)
6.) If you were in charge of Disneyland for one day, what would you do?
Open the park for the entire 24 hours and charge no admission.
7.) What is the one thing you will never tell your parents?
That I have a Ronald Reagan back tat. Just kidding. It’s of Jimmy Carter!

Matt Lange
1.) First job and your best or worst memory?
McDonald’s. The memory that sticks out the most is when an angry customer threw a spicy chicken sandwich at my manager, who ducked and the sandwich hit me causing me to chase them out of the store.
2.) Favorite sports team?
New Orleans Saints
3.) Favorite food?
Boudain
4.) What is your biggest fear and why?
Stinging, flying insects. Have you seen these things?
5.) If you didn’t have to work, what would you do?
Go crazy. I get bored way too fast.
6.) If you were in charge of Disneyland for one day, what would you do?
Shut it down. Who wants to go to California, really?
7.) What is the one thing you will never tell your parents?
Ha. Yeah right.

Sean Green
1.) First job and your best or worst memory?
Kroger’s grocery store. My only real memory is when I was rounding up carts during the middle of the day, the parking lot was full of cars and people coming in and out of the store and cars driving up and down the street. I went around the side of the building to get a cart and when I came back around, everybody had disappeared, there were no cars moving or running and the street was empty. I thought the rapture had happened. Right before I lost my mind, a car blaring rap music came zooming past me.
2.) Favorite sports team?
Tough one. I have three teams I religiously and fervently watch: the University of Arkansas Razorbacks, Chelsea FC and Indianapolis Colts.
3.) Favorite food?
Pretty much all sweets and pizza.
4.) What is your biggest fear and why?
Spiders. I just freak out when I see them. I don’t know if it’s because I fear their poisonous bite, the creepy legs or their million shiny, soulless eyes.
5.) If you didn’t have to work, what would you do?
Visit Europe. I have always wanted to go to England, Scotland and Ireland. But I also want to see France, Italy, Amsterdam and northern Europe. Then I would conquer all of it.
6.) If you were in charge of Disneyland for one day, what would you do?
I would close that thing down and ride every ride in one day. And I mean EVERY RIDE. From tea cups to the real rides.
7.) What is the one thing you will never tell your parents?
Nothing. I know it’s a lame answer, but I’ve pretty much come clean since I moved out.